We had quite a bit of rain in the second half of Sunday. It was a bit of a grey start to the day and forecast gave us a 20% chance of rain. Well, the reality was the rain started around 1 pm and kept going until around 6 pm. This was quite good for Benidorm as we had the marathon in the town today. The event brought a real throng of people into town and the parking was a s bad as it is in the middle of summer. We also have have the final of Benidorm´s Got Talent tonight at the Benidorm Palace. All said, it was a busy old day for Benidorm.

Liverpool got the bragging rights in the Mersey derby but, although we won the game, I think Liverpool spent too much of the game on the back foot and were lucky to go ahead thanks to a deflected shot.  Until the second goal was scored I thought Everton played very well. Chelsea won their game at Arsenal and look a good bet to be there at the top for the end of the season. I think it looks between Man Utd and Chelsea now. Here in Spain, Barcelona have the bragging rights over Real Madrid. Their 1-0 win illustrated that money doesn´t buy everything.

Let´s check the weather for the province of Alicante.

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday
20° C | 6° C	16° C | 4° C	17° C | 8° C	21° C | 7° C	21° C | 6° C
Chance of Rain 40% chance of precipitation	Clear	Scattered Clouds	Scattered Clouds	Chance of Rain 30% chance of precipitation
Hourly	Hourly	Hourly	Hourly	Hourly

The rebel doctor has found another amazing study………..

Sugar makes kids fat: What else is new?

Here’s another study they shook out of the Obvious Tree: Tots who load up on sugar-sweetened drinks grow up to be fat teens. As if you need a research grant to figure that one out!

Researchers at The Pennsylvania State University in University Park tracked the drinking habits and weights of 166 girls between the ages of 5 and 15. And they found that kids who drank two or more sugar-sweetened drinks per day were more likely to be overweight.  Shocking!

Those two daily sugary drinks added up to a 39 percent likelihood of being overweight at 5, and a 32 percent likelihood of being overweight at 15.

The study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition didn’t look at teeth, but I’d say there’s a 100 percent likelihood of cavities, too.

The researchers found that the worst offenders were soda, so-called “sports” drinks and sugar-sweetened fruit- flavored drinks.

All of that junk is bad, but if you’re giving soda to a 5- year-old, shame on you.  The study also found that kids who drank 100 percent fruit juice didn’t gain weight – but I find that a little hard to believe.

Flavored drinks and even pure fruit juice have between 6 and 8 teaspoons of sugar in each serving. Give a kid a cup of this junk at each meal, and you may as well start buying their plus-sized clothing now.

It’s time to end the juice-box madness. If you have kids, stop buying this stuff – cut them off completely.

Like angry little junkies going through withdrawal, they’ll writhe in anguish at first. Expect a few tantrums, whether the kid is 5 or 15.

Once reality sinks in and they start drinking pure water (hopefully from a reverse-osmosis filter), rest assured that they’ll find plenty of ways to cheat – and drink juice at school, friends’ homes and elsewhere.   There’s only so much you can do there – but limit the damage as much as possible by at least laying down the law in your own home.

Kids may act like mini dictators, but every now and then you need to remind them who’s really in charge before they become king-sized tyrants.

Flushing the juice with the rest of the waste,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

———————————————————————————————-

Word of the Day

La gravedad grah-veh-dad’  (noun)

gravity, seriousness; gravitational force

EXAMPLES

La Tierra tiene más gravedad que la luna. – The Earth has more gravitational force than the moon.

Está herido de gravedad. – He is seriously injured.

For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for La gravedad.

—————————————————————————————————————

If Tommy Cooper were alive today

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘That’s Aboriginal.’
———————–
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
————————
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said ‘Tenpin?’ I said, ‘No, permanent.’
———————–
I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’
—————————-
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. ‘Best before End’
—————————
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue.’ I said ‘No, just a watch.’
——————————
I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle.’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood’ I said, ‘Where is he then?’
————————–
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He’s bi-satchel.
————————
I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’ He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’
—————————
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, its P something T something R.
—————————-
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn’t put it down.
—————————-
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
—————————
The recruitment consultant asked me ‘What do you think of voluntary work? I said ‘I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.’
————————–
I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, ‘You don’t need a tin opener to peel a banana.’ He said, ‘No, this is for the custard.’
———————-
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me..’
————————–
I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre. She said, ‘Are you having me on?’ I said, ‘Well I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.’
—————————-
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them ‘Can I have a skip outside my house?’ He said, ‘I’m not stopping you!’
——————————–
This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says ‘Audi!’
————————–
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, ‘Nearest the bull goes first’ He went ‘Baah’ and I went ‘Moo’ He said ‘You’re closest’
——————————
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I’d been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I’d been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said ‘I careered off the road’
———————-
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It’s tiny: you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
————————-
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
————————
I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said ‘Eurostar’ I said ‘Well I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin.
—————————
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make Tuesdays or Thursdays.’
——————————–
I went to the local video shop and I said, ‘Can I borrow Batman Forever?’ He said, ‘No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow’
——————————–
A waiter asks a man, ‘May I take your order, sir?’ ‘Yes,’ the man replies. ‘I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?’ ‘Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.’

——————————————————————————————————————-

Latest Podcast

You just cannot bet against Manchester United. Rooney was on the ball yesterday and Giggs turned in a fine performance. Mind you the commentators talked about Ryan Giggs as though he were the President of the U3A. He´s 36 for goodness sake. He should still be in his prime!

Wigan quickly put last week´s result behind them and brought Sunderland´s team down to reality and Villa brought the Tottenham team back down to earth with their 1-1 draw. Even in Scotland the scores seem odd as Rangers dropped points.  What will the derby games bring?

Iris´Challenge for yesterday was Ruby Murray. Here´s today´s challenge ….

(1)    Born on 3 February 1927, Waterford, Ireland) is an Irish singer. From 1964 to 1986 he was a regular fixture on the BBC Television‘s schedule with his own show, which featured his own singing performances and a variety of guest artistes

(2)     In 1951 he moved to England to join a group called The Four Ramblers, who toured and performed on the BBC Radio show “Workers Playtime” broadcast from factories around

(3)    He married Lynette Rae in the early 60’s who was  cabaret star, she played principle boy, opposite Ruby Murray, in Babes in the Wood 58/59

(4)    He eventually went solo and had a radio show as well as performing concerts and cabaret. In 1963 he was booked to appear on Sunday Night at the London Palladium. As a result of this performance, Bill Cotton, then Assistant Head of Light Entertainment, offered him his own show on BBC television, lasting for over twenty years.

(5)     He often wore cardigans, which together with the rocking chairs he often sat in became his trade mark, and was sometimes compared to American singer Perry Como

(6)    Between 1964 and 1973 he was rarely out of the UK Singles Chart, his greatest successes including the singles “Walk Tall”, “The Special Years”,  He also sang the theme song to the film, Ring of Bright Water.

(7)     He is cited as a member of the eclectic (and fictional) “orchestra” in The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band‘s recording, The Intro and the Outro, where he is credited “as himself”.

(8)    He is now a grandfather and the father of a successful novelist, his elder daughter Sarah having scored some success in that field. He lives in Buckinghamshire and Spain, he is also a very fine Artist.

———————————————————————————————-

Let´s get the Alicante weather……………

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday
17° C | 6° C	18° C | 6° C	14° C | 7° C	16° C | 10° C

Word of the Day

Fruncir froon-seer’  (transitive verb)

to gather; to purse, to pucker

EXAMPLES

Frunce las cortinas aquí. – Gather the curtains here.

Stefani frunció al oír su nombre. – Stephanie frowned upon hearing her name.

IDIOMS

fruncir el ceño – to frown

———————————————————————————————–

In a bad mood? Good for you!

Don’t you just hate those irritants who go around telling others to smile, cheer up and look on the bright side?

Well, you can safely ignore them now – because the latest research shows it’s great to be grumpy and grand to be a grouch. In fact, bad moods make us more attentive, less gullible and better equipped to make decisions.

Prof. Joe Forgas of the University of New South Wales asked volunteers to watch some films and think about events in their past, putting them in either a good mood or bad mood.

Then, the volunteers were given a series of tests – like figuring out the truth behind urban legends, or providing an eyewitness account of events. And the professor found that grumps were much better at these tasks than the happy- go-lucky types.

So, frown proudly and ignore the hippy-dippy love-everyone people telling you to smile all the time. They’re just trying to bring you down to their level.

Smiling on the inside,

————————————————————-

The caring side of Ian K is seen in his latest offering…….

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”"We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”

“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children with  me. They are over there, under that tree.”

“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us, also.”

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”

“Bring them all, as well,” the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind.”

“Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it.

“You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high”

—————————————————————————————

Well, Hellooooooooooooo!

Three blondes were all applying for the last available
position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective
conducting the interview looked at the three of them and
said, “So y’all want to be cops, huh?”

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a
folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a
picture, and said, “To be a detective, you have to be able
to detect. You must be able to notice things such as
distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so
forth.”

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first
blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. “Now,” he
said, “did you notice any distinguishing features about this
man?”

The blonde immediately said, “Yes, I did. He has only one
eye!”

The detective shook his head and said, “Of course he has
only one eye in this picture! It’s a profile of his face!
You’re dismissed!”

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the
photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,
“What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding
about this man?”

“Yes! He only has one ear!”

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
“Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a
profile of the man’s face! Of course you can only see one
ear! You’re excused too!”

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last
blonde and said, “This is probably a waste of time, but…”
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and
withdrew it, saying, “All right, did you notice anything
distinguishing or unusual about this man?”

The blonde said, “I sure did. This man wears contact
lenses.” The detective frowned, took another look at the
picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the
folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression
and said, “You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears
contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at
his picture?”

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, “Well,
Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he
certainly can’t wear glasses.”

Received from FranCMT2.

——————————————————————

A card payment service commonly used by customers to avoid high transaction charges when booking flights is being phased out by two major providers.

Customers who pay by Visa Electron are not charged transaction fees by airlines such as Ryanair, Aer Lingus, BMIbaby, Easyjet and Flybe.

Abbey and Travelex have told BBC Radio 4´s Money Box their cards will not feature Visa Electron by next year.

But another banking group, HBOS said it would continue to offer the card.

Here´s today´s show

Well, another week has passed and I hope you were able to join my show today.The TV theme I played around 9.40 today was Thank Goodness it´s Friday presented by Chris Evans. Only Darren D managed to get that one and the other theme I featured was Simon Bates ´Óur Song’.

The sun is shining and my friends and family are over visiting us. This means we will be fluctuating between showing the places of interest and spending time socialising. Let´s see what the weather has in store for the Costa Banca´s Province of Alicante.

Saturday	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday
20° C | 10° C	17° C | 9° C	13° C | 10° C	16° C | 14° C	19° C | 15° C

Here´s a really distressing story I have just been reading at SpanishVida. I need to direct you to the story as it might well affect people who live here in Spain…Basically, the story graphically explains how Spanish bureaucracy can make people believe the Spanish people are difficult to live with. Generally speaking the Spanish are very nice but they become very reminiscent of England as it used to be when they get a little bit of power or authority.   I encountered exactly the same  in Cornwall when we moved in the 1980s. The bank manager at HSBC in Truro was an absolute nightmare and his attitude was horrific. I can also recall the attitude of Martin´s Bank in Bebington when I was a very young man putting in a very meagre sum of money each time I visited his branch. I think we need to remember that it is always down to the individual. If you have a nasty person with authority and power you have a bigger problem than if you have a nice person with this power. The moral of the story is that it´s not necessarily the Spanish with these problems. I think they exist everywhere. I think it´s easy to0 think it´s just a Spanish problem. Nasty people are nasty wherever they exist.

————————————————————————————————————

Bullrings and fake Eiffel Towers may not be enough to hold back the tide of surging unemployment in Spain, Europe’s one-time engine of job growth. These are worrying times and I´ll refer you to the rest of the article showing how Spain is lagging behind in its recovery from the recession. This probably indicates that you can disguise underlying problems by throwing money at the present problems……………………..

As an 8 billion-euro ($12 billion) stimulus program runs out, that will help destroy 250,000 jobs at the start of next year, according to the AGETT association of employment agencies, and push the jobless rate above 20 percent.

Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero’s package, designed to fight Spain’s worst recession in 60 years, has kept people in work by funding a wave of building projects from a theme park of European monuments to sports complexes and bullrings. The risk is that a further jump in joblessness will delay the return to growth, boosting the budget deficit and borrowing costs.

“What they’ve done is just put the unemployed on ice,” said Fernando Fernandez, a professor at IE business school in Madrid and former International Monetary Fund economist. “There’s been a series of transitory measures based on the idea the crisis would be short, and now we have to deal with the consequences.”

Under the Plan E program, which created 422,298 jobs, builders in Torrejon de Ardoz, near Madrid, are erecting the collection of monuments among 5,000 trees. On the Mediterranean island of Ibiza, 3 million euros is being spent to build a swimming pool, while a bullring near the capital has a new roof.

Click this link to read the FULL article: Bullrings, Theme Park Can’t Stop 20% Spanish Jobless (Update1) – Bloomberg.com.

—————————————————————————————————————

The rebel doctor is astounded. Words almost fail him. Well, almost…….

Here’s one from the Department of Useless Research:

People who eat fast, eat more. No kidding. I don’t think I needed a study to prove that a glutton is, well, gluttonous… but researchers in Greece are acting as if they’ve stumbled upon some state secret with this one.

I didn’t pay for this research, but I feel like I want a refund anyway.

The researchers gave each of their subjects a bowl of ice cream – an odd choice, when you consider that ice cream encourages you to eat it quickly before it melts. In any case, the subjects were asked to eat at different paces as researchers measured hormone levels.  The study found that those who ate slowest felt fuller and had higher concentrations of the two hormones associated with being full, PYY and GLP-1.

The researchers concluded that when you eat fast, your stomach doesn’t have a chance to release those hormones to let your brain know you’ve had enough. As a result, you eat more. OK, I’ll buy that. But so what? We’ve known this for years, and I didn’t need this study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism to confirm it.

But the biggest crime here isn’t the wasted research money… it’s the wave of bad advice that inevitably follows studies like this one. “Eat slowly,” they’ll tell you. “Eat slowly, and you’ll lose weight.”

Fat chance.  Remember, eating fast food is far, far worse for you than eating food fast. No one’s going to really lose weight by chewing more slowly – you lose weight by eating better.

That’s not to say there aren’t plenty of other good reasons to eat slowly. First and foremost, eating slowly lets you enjoy and savor your food. This doesn’t mean you have to count seconds between bites, but at least take a moment to taste the stuff.  And eating quickly increases your risk for indigestion, gas and choking.

So take some time to smell the dishes – just remember that it’s what’s on the plate that counts most… not how long you keep it there.

——————————————————————————————————–
Here´s Iris´challenge from this morning’s show …..who do you think this might be. Send me an e-mail if you didn´t hear my show but want to guess

(1)She was born in Northern Ireland on 29 March 1935 – 17 December 1996 and was one of the most popular singers in the United Kingdom in the 1950s. In the year of 1955 alone, she secured seven Top 10 UK hit singles.

(2) She toured as a child singer, and first appeared on television at the age of 12, having been spotted by producer Richard Afton. Due to laws governing children performing, she had to delay her start in the entertainment industry. She returned to Belfast and full time education until she was 14.

(3) She was still in her teens when she replaced Joan Regan on the BBC TV programme ‘Quite Contrary’.

(4) During the 1950’s  she had her own television show, starred at the London Palladium with Norman Wisdom, appeared in a Royal Command Performance (1955), and toured the world. In a period of 52 weeks, starting in 1955, she constantly had at least one single in the UK charts.

(5)She starred with Frankie Howard and Dennis Price in her only film  the 1956 farce, A Touch of the Sun.

(6) During the summer of 1957, while working in Blackpool, Murray met Bernie Burgess, whom she later married, Burgess became her manager and the couple became a double act during the 1960s.

(7) She was one of the most successful stars in the history of British popular music. She set a pop-chart record in 1955 by having five hits in the Top Twenty at one time. Equaled only by Michael Jackson posthumously this year

(8) Initially signed by Columbia, an EMI label, and her first single “Heartbeat” reached No.3 in the charts. However, it was her famous No.1 hit “Softly, Softly ” that was to become her ‘signature tune’.

———————————————————————–

This is rather nice to send to a friend and anyone who knows my personal situation might think, as I certainly have been thinking, that this is particularly relevant to a very recent experience I have been having.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

————————————————————————————–

Word of the Day

Coger koh-herr’  (transitive verb)

to take, to pick up, to catch, to get

EXAMPLES

¿Me lo puedes coger el bolígrafo? – Could you pick up my pencil?

Lo cogió del brazo. – She took him by the arm.

IDIOMS

No hay por donde cogerlo. – awful, third-rate

¡Dios me coja confesado! – Lord help us!

Notes

Coger can have a vulgar meaning in several places in Latin and South America. It would be better to use a substitute like tomar, alcanzar, or agarrar.

———————————————————————————

DCSF funding for dyslexia training

The DCSF is funding the course fees for eligible teachers wishing to study in January 2010 for an Approved Teacher Status (ATS), or the Associate Membership of the British Dyslexia Association (AMBDA) qualification in dyslexia, accredited by the British Dyslexia Association. To be eligible, teachers must hold QTS, have completed their induction and be living in England.

———————————————————————————

Today´s show

“Gratitude is a powerful tool. If you will allow yourself to feel grateful, your processing and programming can work immeasurably better. … As you feel grateful for what you have, you start having more things about which to feel that gratitude.”   Lazaris

If a great teacher stands behind every man and woman, then a parent stands behind all of them. The selflessness of parents is truly amazing. Everyone of us owe them our knowledge, our experiences, and – literally – our lives.   I think I feel grateful for most things in my life and I do try to tell people when I believe they need to be thanked. I´m grateful for this Sunday´s fixtures:Everton v Liverpool, Arsenal v Chelsea and Barcelona v Real Madrid. Let´s have a quick check on the weather forecast!

Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday	Monday
22° C | 8° C	21° C | 9° C	20° C | 5° C	22° C | 5° C	17° C | 6° C

This is not too bad.

————————————————————-

There´s hope for us all as Spain appoints an 81 year old!

Who says that broadcasting is a young person´s game? Certainly not in Spain where the new head of public broadcaster RTVE is a youthful 81-year-old.

Spain´s  Parliament has chosen Alberto Oliart (81) as the national public broadcaster Corporación RTVE´s new president. Alberto Oliart is the country´s former Defence Secretary.

The new president was chosen with a majority of two thirds of the votes formally needed but at the same time without the support of the minority parliamentary groups.

Alberto Oilart replaces Luis Fernández who resigned of his post several weeks ago.

RTVE faces some major challenges next year, not least cutting expenditure and also coping with a new rule which forbids RTVE´s two major channels (La 1 and La 2) to broadcast any kind of advertising except for self-promotions of its own programmes.

————————————————————–

Here is a very serious internet warning…..

At PC Tools, we want all our users to be aware of the latest threats so they can take steps to protect themselves.

PC Tools’ Malware Research Center has discovered another online Twilight scam, promising viewers they can watch the “New Moon” movie for free. Here’s what really happens:

Fans are baited with the text websites, chat rooms and blogs that read: “Watch New Moon Full Movie.” Concurrently, comment posts are filled with related keywords to attract more search engines.

Search results for the movie then link users to stolen images from the movie itself, convincing the fan that the movie is only one click away.

When they click on the “movie player” they are told to install a “streamviewer”.

The streamviewer, however, installs malware on the user’s computer.

This is of course part of a larger trend, where cybercriminals use the popularity of current affairs, world events and even movie premieres to attract people who seek free or pirated content.

Our advice is to see films in the cinema. Sure the popcorn is over-priced, but it’s still cheaper than having your bank details taken from your PC and your account drained of funds.

Regards,
The PC Tools Team
————————————————-
THE TIMES–Letter of the Year

An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanks him most sincerely.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I
endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three
‘nanoseconds’ must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and
the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of
course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement
which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be
commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for
debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused
to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has
caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and
letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, re-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a fl esh-and-blood
person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no
longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed
personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must
nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person
to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your
chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in
order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me,
there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her
medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory
details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and
liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she
must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than
28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses
required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press
buttons as follows:

1– To make an appointment to see me.
2– To query a missing payment.
3– To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4– To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5– To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6– To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7– To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer
is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to
the Authorized Contact.)
8– To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9– To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put
on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While
this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play
for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

***************************
Addendum from The Editor:

IMPORTANT to REMEMBER that this letter was written by a lady who is a 98
year old woman; DOESN’T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!!!?

—————————————————————————

Word of the Day

El cobre koh’-breh  (noun)

copper

EXAMPLES

El cobre es un metal rojizo que se encuentra en la tierra. – Copper is a reddish metal that you can find in the ground.

Se necesita hilo de cobre con doble capa de protección para hacer eso. – You need double insulated copper wire to do that.

IDIOMS

mostrar el cobre – to show one’s true colors

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

I received a missive this morning urging gratitude……

Whatever you focus on grows, so when you appreciate someone, see their value and beauty and feel grateful for it, those qualities will expand and grow in your life.

When you focus on everything in your life you have to feel grateful for, and all the wonderful things, experiences and people you appreciate, the universe hands you more of the same. It’s a fantastic abundance expanding experience.

You might like to keep a gratitude journal and write down at the end of each day 10 things you feel grateful for over the last 24 hours to assist you in experiencing more of this wondrous, generative, heart-opening energy of gratitude!

I am very lucky and I am very grateful for being lucky. Okay, so I get a bit of bad luck now and again. This happens to everyone. I have my health and a very good family and a lot of very good friends. I´d like to win the lottery but even this is a bit unfair. I did win the lottery last week. Anne and I share our 8 euro winnings down on the front at Poniente having a lovely cup of coffee and a chat. What could be nicer than looking out on the Med and Benidorm island on a warm Autumnal day? What would I write as 10 things today has brought me?

1. My health

2. My wife

3. My cat

4. My computer

5. My Guitar

6. A nice place to live

7. A nice lady who helped me in the bank.

8. No time to gawp at the television

9. My friend Mike completed his house sale

10. Our visitors arrived safely

————————————————————————————-

I don´t feel too much gratitude for Yahoo´s so-called improvements over the past few weeks. Has anyone else experienced a number of inconveniences, especially with the mail? I find the line dropping out on quite a regular basis and the mail not being available for several attempts. Is it just me or are others finding the same problems?

I have a question for any computer nerds who might be reading. I have a Spanish computer. The keyboard is Spanish. Every now and then my question mark moves to the bottom of the keyboard where the dash lives. The dash moves to the question mark. I cannot find an answer for this. It´s an inconvenience rather than a problem!

—————————————————————————————-

According to several reports, at least 48 people were killed and a lot more injured in flash floods yesterday, in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Wild ‘rivers’ rolling through city streets have flooded hundreds of homes and shops, as approximately 70 millimeters of rain poured over them in less than two hours. This amount of rain accounts for almost 75 percent of the Kingdom’s annual average rainfall.

—————————————————————————————–

As a neutral, and a Liverpool supporter, I can say Manchester United’s young team was robbed last night. They played the opposition off the park and lost 1-0. It’s a funny old game!

It is a little cooler today but we have bright skies. There is rain in Spain. Will it stay mainly on the plain?

Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday	Monday
22° C | 8° C	21° C | 9° C	20° C | 5° C	22° C | 5° C	17° C | 6° C
Scattered Clouds	Scattered Clouds	Chance of Rain 20% chance of precipitation	Chance of Rain 20% chance of precipitation	Scattered Cloud

The goalposts, or should I say the clouds, are moving. The rain scheduled for today has moved to a 20% chance on Saturday.

——————————————————————————————————————-

Llevar

(yeh-varr’) (transitive verb) – to take; to wear; to lead; to carry; to cope with, to handle

• Llévame a casa. – Take me home.
• Lleva la falda roja esta noche. – Wear the red skirt tonight.

• Llevar las de ganar/perder – To be on a winning/losing streak.

For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for Llevar.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

I admit to reading with great interest what the rebel doctor says on many subjects. I think you will find the following most interesting……………

The Washington Times sure is behind on the times. The paper recently reported that “Sunshine vitamin stirs new debate.”

Where have they been? The debate has been raging for years between sunscreen manufacturers (who spend BILLIONS to convince you that the sun is your worst enemy) and people who know that the sun-will-kill-you myth is just that… a myth.

But what’s bringing it to the forefront this time around is a soon-to-be released book called The Vitamin D Solution by Dr. Michael Holick. Five years ago, Holick got fired from his position as a dermatology professor at the Boston University School of Medicine because of his sun stance.

But that didn’t shut him up. And now, thanks to books like his – and a growing body of research – people are finally starting to see the aftermath of decades of hiding from the sun has done.

It isn’t pretty.

As you know, sunlight is one of the best sources of vitamin D. This nutrient helps boost your immune system, fight cancer, lower your risk of osteoporosis, control blood pressure, improve insulin resistance, and so much more. And, of course, when you don’t get enough of it, you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of problems.

One new study published in Clinical Endocrinology confirms earlier research, which shows that the less D you have, the sooner you’ll kick the bucket.

Believe me, you don’t just want this stuff – you need it.

That’s why it’s so alarming that more than 50 percent of the world’s population is suffering from a deficiency in vitamin D – and Americans are in the worst shape of all. According to Consumer Reports on Health, more than three quarters of Americans – 77 percent, to be exact – suffer from vitamin D deficiency.

Holick told the Washington Times that this deficiency is “probably the most common nutritional and medical condition in the world.”

The best way you can correct that is to spend at least 15 minutes a day soaking in the sun.

I know you hear that nonsense about how the sun causes skin cancer so often that it’s hard not to believe it. But believe me when I say that not all skin cancer is equal. The most common skin cancers linked to sun exposure are nothing to worry about and can be treated with quick outpatient procedures.

Deadly melanomas – the skin cancer you SHOULD worry about – are far rarer and are actually caused by not getting enough sun! Studies have shown that a lack of sun can even make these cancers worse.

So get outside, bask in the sun, and use a little common sense. Don’t use sunblock (which has also been linked to cancer) and simply get inside before you burn.

Swearing by the sun… but never at it,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

———————————————————————

This is even more interesting as the following appeared in my in-box today…

NY Times Blows The Whistle On Drug Industry’s Dirty Tricks
Posted by: Dr. Mercola
November 26 2009

As a sobering example of how members of Congress can be spoon-fed the views and even the exact words of high-powered  lobbying firms, consider remarks inserted into the Congressional Record after the debate and vote on health care reform in the House.

Statements by more than a dozen lawmakers were ghostwritten, in whole or in part, by Washington lobbyists working for Genentech, one of the world’s largest biotechnology companies.

E-mail messages obtained by The New York Times show that the lobbyists drafted one statement for Democrats and another
for Republicans.

The lobbyists, employed by Genentech and by two Washington law firms, were remarkably successful in getting the
statements printed in the Congressional Record under the names of different members of Congress.

The apparent goal was to show that, even though there were sharp divisions between the parties on the overall reform
bill (only one Republican voted for it), there was bipartisan support for provisions relating to drugs produced by the
biotechnology industry. One provision, for example, would allow generic competition to expensive biological drugs but
only after the original manufacturer had enjoyed 12 years of exclusive use, a generous period by anyone’s standards.

Asked about the Congressional statements, a lobbyist close to Genentech said: “This happens all the time. There was
nothing nefarious about it.”

Sources:
New York Times November 16, 2009

——————————————————————————————-

New York, NY—Why didn’t anyone else ever notice this? In treating thousands of eye patients, Dr. Robert Ritch of The New York Eye and Ear Infirmary, made an astonishing discovery. Merely loosening certain articles of clothing can drop patients’ intraocular pressure (IOP) by up to 4 points. That’s an enormous difference. So much, you could be diagnosed with glaucoma when you don’t even have the disease.

Want more proof? So did Dr. Ritch. He proceeded to conduct formal tests of his theory on healthypeople and those with glaucoma. The phenomenon is very much for real. And everyone needs to know about this danger, because high IOP can lead to blindness. If you’ve been diagnosed with high IOP, this solution could clear it up instantly—and if you really have glaucoma, your clothing could be making it even worse.
———————————————————-

The Cherry Tree
By: M.L. Weems

When George Washington was about six years old, he was
made the wealthy master of a hatchet of which, like most
little boys, he was extremely fond. He went about chopping
everything that came his way.

One day, as he wandered about the garden amusing himself
by hacking his mother’s pea- sticks, he found a beautiful,
young English cherry tree, of which his father was most
proud. He tried the edge of his hatchet on the trunk of the
tree and barked it so that it died.

Some time after this, his father discovered what had
happened to his favorite tree. He came into the house in
great anger, and demanded to know who the mischievous
person was who had cut away the bark. Nobody could tell him
anything about it.

Just then George, with his little hatchet, came into the
room.

“George,” said his father, “do you know who has killed my
beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden? I would
not have taken five guineas for it!”

This was a hard question to answer, and for a moment
George was staggered by it, but quickly recovering himself
he cried: –

“I cannot tell a lie, father, you know I cannot tell a
lie! I did cut it with my little hatchet.”

The anger died out of his father’s face, and taking the
boy tenderly in his arms, he said:

“My son, that you should not be afraid to tell the truth
is more to me than a thousand trees! yes, though they were
blossomed with silver and had leaves of the purest gold!”

Truth springs from an honest heart.

————————————

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter

“What are you doing?”  She asked.

“Hunting Flies”  He responded.

“Oh! Killed any?”  She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.  “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded,  “3 were on a beer can,  2 were on the phone.

—————————————————————————–

My good friend Tom Brown, from Paintings in Spain, revived an oldie but goodie…Nice to hear from you, Tom

A Burgler broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around,

looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

‘Jesus knows you’re here.’

He nearly jumped out of his skin,

clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more ,

after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he

could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

‘Jesus is watching you.’

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,

looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room,

his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.

‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked,

‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’

The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh?

Who in the world are you?’

‘Moses,’ replied the bird.

‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’

————————————————————————————————————

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy

‘Mister,’ he said, ‘I want to buy one of your puppies.’

‘Well,’ said the farmer,
as h e rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, ‘These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.’

The boy dropped his head for a moment.
Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change
and held it up to the farmer.

‘I’ve got thirty-nine cents.
Is that enough to take a look?’

‘Sure,’ said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle.
‘Here, Dolly!’ he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran

Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence,

the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up….

‘I want that one,’ the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, ‘Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.’

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said,
‘You see sir, I don’t run too well myself,
and he will need someone who understands.’

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup..

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

‘How much?’ asked the little boy. ‘No charge,’ answered the farmer, ‘There’s no charge for love.’

The world is full of people who need someone who understands

It’s National Friendship Week.

Show your friends how much you care.

—————————————————————————————–
1925, Born on this day, Michael Holliday, singer, 1958 UK No.1 ‘The Story Of My Life’. The song gave the writers Bacharach and David their first UK No.1 hit.

1939, Born on this day, Tina Turner, (Annie Mae Bullock), Ike & Tina Turner, (1966 UK No.3 single ‘River Deep Mountain High’, 1971 US No.4 single ‘Proud Mary’), solo, (1984 UK No.3 and US No.1 single ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’, plus over 25 other UK Top 40 singles).
Latest Podcast

One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests. – John Stuart Mill, 1806-1873

More evidence of global warming comes from a flotilla of icebergs floating into the proximity of New Zealand. There were such appearances recorded in 2006 and, perhaps of some little comfort, they were also recorded back in 1931. Click for the full story. Another interesting debate has been engineered by the those needing to fill space. They ask whether the Beatles were overrated. The fact of the matter is that quality lasts and everything will always have critics. The views expressed, however, are quite interesting. Let´s get the weather for Alicante province……….

Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
22° C | 11° C	21° C | 12° C	23° C | 9° C	19° C | 8° C	21° C | 8° C

There´s a very revealing insight into Depression on British TV tonight. Apparently, the idea for the programme was triggered by the depression endured by cricket international, Marcus Trescothick. The programme makers then went to interview various other high-profile sports stars including the well-documented troubles of Frank Bruno. He, in the clip I saw this morning, was told by his manager that his greatest fight would come when he retired from boxing. I think we all face this fight and the key to a happier long life is the ability to stay mentally active.

I need to thank Peter and Bob who have been doing some work for me. If anyone else is like me, pretty useless at jobs like pointing, then I can provide you with a number for two guys who provide great work at affordable prices. We´ve had another beautifully sunny day and I have managed to get a lot of jobs done.  I also read a very good article about how to keep clients for life. The author, G King, sees customer service as follows…
“Customer service is more than just smile training — it’s about treating people the way they wanted to be treated. It’s also about giving the client what they want, when they want it and how they want it. It really comes down to the fact that good communication and human relations skills equals good customer relations.”

Moving on….Liverpool tried their best……Sheenagh has sent us a friendship letter from her best friend, Sheila, in Australia…….

True   Friendship  “Aussie Style–” None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those  weak ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card — Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad –  I will help you get pickled and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you..

3. When you smile — I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared — I will rag you about it every chance I get until you’re NOT.

5…. When you are worried — I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whining.

6… When you are confused — I will try to use only little words.

7… When you are sick –  Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.  I don’t want whatever you have..

8. When you fall — I will laugh at your clumsy backside, but I’ll help you up.

9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask;
because you are my friend.

Friendship is like wetting your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, Then get depressed because you can only think of 4

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You Could Have Heard a Pin Drop

JFK’S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60′s when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.  DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.  Rusk responded, “Does that include those who are buried here?”  DeGaulle did not respond.

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.  During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying ‘Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims.  What does he intended to do, bomb them?’

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:

‘Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency  electrical power to shore facilities; they have three  cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.  We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?’

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, ‘Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?’

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied,

‘Maybe it’s because the Brit’s, Canadians, Aussie’s and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.’

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE…

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

“You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked  sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

“Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.”

The American said, ‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”

“Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !”

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard  look.  Then he quietly explained,

”Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.”

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word of the Day

insoportable een-so-por-tah’  (adjective)

intolerable, unbearable

EXAMPLES

Lo engañaba con su mentira insoportable. – She deceived him with her intolerable lie.

Mi hermana es un tostón insoportable. – My little sister is an unbearable pain.

For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for insoportable.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Next, a beautiful story from Ian K from Villamar

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma
of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way
out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s
agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table were
literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left
this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture.
His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife
with a wooden spoon …………………..

**** off” she said, “they’re for the funeral.”

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles. – Charlie Chaplin, 1889-1977

Is there no end to computer and internet scamming?  I received the following today in my mail

————————————————————-

China Domain Name Register Organization:

YIGUAN LTD.

Room 1303-1305,

NO.2 KaiTuoBuilding,

West ZhongShan Road 1878,

XuHui District,Shanghai China.

Tel: 0086-21-6296 2950

Fax:0086-21-6296 1557

Mail: alice@webregistry.org.cn
Web: www.webregistry.org.cn

Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
23° C | 10° C	21° C | 13° C	24° C | 12° C	22° C | 11° C	18° C | 10° C
Clear	Clear	Scattered Clouds	Chance of Rain 20% chance of precipitation	Partly Cloudy

The weather is looking brilliant for today but I am keeping an eye on Friday. With the weather staying hot  we may get a deluge!

* Music Lessons Boost Brain Power *

For those who seriously practiced a musical instrument when they were young, the experience was more than just entertainment. Recent research shows a strong correlation between musical training for children and certain mental abilities.

The research was discussed at a session at a recent gathering of acoustics experts in Austin, Texas.

Go here for complete news story.

The delicious road to artery health

Want an easy way to help keep your arteries clear? Try a little cocoa.

Before I tell you about the latest research, put down that candy bar. There’s a much better way to get your cocoa without a sugar-filled gut-buster, and I’ll get to that in a minute.

Spanish researchers followed a group of older patients who had a high risk of heart disease. Half of them drank skim milk, the other half got skim milk mixed with cocoa powder.

After four weeks, the cocoa drinkers had lower levels of the biomarkers associated with atherosclerosis than those who drank the plain skim, according to a study I came across in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

The secret? Polyphenols, a flavonoid that can reduce levels of the inflammatory compounds that ultimately cause artery hardening.

Cocoa is so full of polyphenols that they practically spill out of the container.

Now it’s time for me to be the party pooper. This study is not a license to go out and eat chocolate bars and chocolate candy, now matter what you may have read elsewhere.

Once again, those ignoramuses in the media got it wrong. I’ve found headlines online like “Eat up: Chocolate may reduce risks of heart disease.” One newspaper even used this study as an excuse to list all the local candy shops.

These shallow, empty stories never make the distinction between pure, healthy cocoa and the chocolate crapola that most people shovel down their throats. And because of that, people think it’s OK to load up on sugary garbage, which is exactly what your heart doesn’t need (neither does the rest of you, for that matter).

Instead, buy some plain old pure unsweetened cocoa powder – you’ll find it in just about any supermarket, usually in the baking aisle – and add it to your coffee. If it clumps up, run the powder through your blender or food processor first to make it even finer.

The subjects in this study had 40 grams of cocoa each day – roughly 7 teaspoons. For most people, one teaspoon three times a day will do the trick… and you’ll get all the benefits of chocolate – with none of the problems of candy.

————————————————————————————

Thanks to Ian and Bridget at El Faro, in Calpe

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’ .

In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

————————————————————————————————————————–

Word of the Day

el orgullo or-goo’-yoh  (noun)

pride; arrogance, haughtiness

EXAMPLES

Es el orgullo de la familia. – He is the pride of the family.

No aguanto su orgullo. – I just can’t bear his arrogance.

For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for el orgullo.

———————————————————————————–

On Nov. 12, Centrepoint will host Sleep Out, an annual event during which participants, called “Sleepers,” give up the comfort of their beds for one night and spend the time outside on the streets. This year’s event will be held in London’s Old Spitalfields Market. The event allows people to experience a flavor of the daily plight of homeless young adults throughout Britain, albeit with food, security and a roof, amenities the homeless do not have.  In addition to a cold, uncomfortable night, Sleepers must raise 500 pounds (a little over $800) that goes to the center.

Go here for complete news story.

————————————————————————————-

Jackie C from Benidorm sent me the following

The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them
gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, ‘Look at these, they’re the mostperfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to  be able to see them every day, for eternity.’ The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, goes to the loo and shortly pulls the lever.

The Angel says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in.’

Dolly is outraged and asks, ‘What was that all about? I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down.She wees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?’

‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair!

————————————————————————————————-

Patrick W  has sent me the ultimate in chain letters….this one really works

Forward this message to 10 people………..

and you will get……….

*****ALL, THAT’S RIGHT, ****ALL. YOU WON’T GET GOOD LUCK OR A NICE SURPRISE,  5 GRAND OR A HOLIDAY IN JAMAICA,  JUST **** ALL.

It’s true…..

It works…..

I sent it on and I got **** ALL.

Don’t break the chain, it’s the only one that actually works!

Send it and get **** ALL, it’s brilliant!

My latest podcast

It´s been a funny old day today. It started with a grey sky then proceeded to bit of drizzle. As I am writing this blog it is now quite sunny. Let´s get that forecast…….

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday
22° C | 8° C	21° C | 7° C	21° C | 7° C	22° C | 11° C	23° C | 9° C
Clear	Clear	Clear	Clear	Scattered Clouds
Hourly

We have a big event running in the Benidorm Palace and Benidorm Circu. It´s the heats today and yesterday and then it is the finals next week of Benidorm´s Got Talent. Big names involved include Euroweekl and Telitec plus the Palace and various nother sponsors. Michelle and Steven from Euroweekly joined me on my show and described the talent we have here in Benidorm as áwesome´. Let´s see what I´ve been sent overnight.

Employee Reference

At times I was asked to provide references for former employees by companies considering hiring them.

On one firm’s form was the question: “Was this person a steady worker?”

Since the guy was a well-known do-nothing, I entered, “Not just steady, but motionless” in the space provided.

Speeding

A young man was caught going almost double the speed limit through a small town. As the police officer walked up to the car, he said to the young man, “I’ve been waiting for you
all day.”

The young man replied, “Don’t worry! I got here as fast as I could!”

He got off with a verbal warning. This is a true story.

—————————————————————————–

The rebel doctor has the following to say about mobile phones……Maybe it is worth reading this and realising how many children are keen to have a mobile phone……

Big tumor risk for cell users
Are you near a window? Open it up, make sure no one is below… and toss your cell phone out.

There… now it’s finally a safe distance from your body. Otherwise, you may as well dial “M” for “Murder,” because your cell phone is killing you.  These dangerous devices are AGAIN being linked to brain tumors, according to a 10-year investigation by the World Health Organization. Six of the eight studies examined by the WHO found a link to tumors among regular cell phone users, with one finding that they boost the risk by 39 percent.

I know the research has been inconsistent over the years – but pay attention, because a multi-billion-dollar industry is trying to cloud the issue with a series of low-quality studies.

One recent analysis of multiple studies initially found no risk. But once the researchers focused on eight studies that met high research standards, they found that cell phone users have an increased tumor risk of between 10 percent and 30 percent over those who never or rarely used them.  Other studies have linked cell phones to everything from these tumors to reproductive problems to heart irregularities to hearing loss.

You can’t ignore the facts any longer: Ditch your cell phones for good – and for goodness sake, keep these deadly gadgets away from your kids.

Cell-phone free forever,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

Whilst he´s here, let´s get his thoughts on exercise and weight control.

Exercise is unrelated to weight loss

It’s always fun watching the mainstream media hem, haw, backtrack and make excuses whenever it’s forced to admit that exercise doesn’t lead to weight loss.

Take a recent New York Times article, which to my shock actually reported on the latest studies saying that treadmill torture won’t help you lose weight. But surprise, surprise…By the end of that article, they were still busy inventing bizarre new reasons to drown yourself in sweat.

I guess they don’t want to lose revenue from all those gym ads.

A study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine followed 58 obese people who exercised for 12 weeks but didn’t chang the eating habits that got them in the study in the first place.

The average fatty lost 7 pounds… but many lost just half that.

Practically speaking, they may as well have lost nothing at all. There’s really no difference between someone who weighs 303 pounds and someone who weights 310 pounds. If they had simply tried sticking to a sensible diet free of sugar and other carbs, they’d have lost some real weight by week 12 – without ever breaking a sweat.

Now that the fat cat’s out of the gym bag, the fitness barons are scrambling to come up with new bogus reasons for you to risk your life and wallet in their overpriced and dangerous dungeons.

My favorite is “an acute exercise-induced increase in positive mood.”

I’ll tell you what puts me in a positive mood: Not exercising. And if you walk by the gym and see all those miserable, grimacing hamsters stumbling on treadmills and rolling off exercise balls, I don’t think “positive mood” is the first phrase that’ll come to mind.

Another of these supposed benefits is “increased aerobic capacity.” In other words, exercise makes you better able to do more exercise.

Still one more – they claim that once you lose the weight WITHOUT hitting the gym, exercise can help keep it off.

Trust me on this one – if you can lose weight through diet alone, you can keep it off through diet alone.

———————————————

Word of the Day

el alimento ah-lee-men’-toh  (noun)

food, nourishment, nutritional value

EXAMPLES

No tiene alimento ninguno. – I has no nutritional value.

La lectura es un alimento para el espíritu. – Reading is food for the soul.

For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for el alimento.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Ian in Villamar sent the following

Old  Motor!
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.

The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, ‘This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?’

The old man grinned and said, ‘You got to keep the old motor running.
‘

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman.

She said, ‘Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?’  The old man grinned and said, ‘You gotta keep the old motor running..’

A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.

The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, ‘Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?’

The old man replied, ‘It’s like I’ve told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running.’  The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: ‘Well, I guess it’s time to change the oil. This one’s not white!’

————————————————————————

Latest show

I met Michelle and Steven who own the Euroweekly News this morning and they were guests on my show. It was very nice to meet the people behind the paper as the paper is a tremendously well produced medium and my Sunday Guest, Leapy Lee, is also part of their team. There is a story in the news about a teacher in Alicante being brought before a court in Spain for giving 100 lines. There´s a lot lost in the translation but the gist is there for teachers and others to ponder over. Personally, I am against punishing the same students over and over again and in the same way. I am afraid other educationalists see this very differently but all I see is the same people being punished in the same way and nothing really changes. Is it any wonder that many children end up hating their schooldays? I think teachers need to think outside the box or more accurately I believe teachers should be allowed to think outside the box.

———————————————————————————-

I was sent a link to a very powerful video about too many drugs being prescribed worldwide. I believe we are prescribed too many drugs but I wanted to know more about who sent me the video. The video was issued byThe Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) is a non-profit, public benefit organization dedicated to investigating and exposing psychiatric violations of human rights. I needed therefore to find out more about CCHR.

CCHR was founded in 1969 by the Church of Scientology and the internationally acclaimed author, Dr. Thomas Szasz, Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry at the State University of New York, Syracuse. At that time, the victims of psychiatry were a forgotten minority group, warehoused under terrifying conditions in institutions around the world. Because of this, CCHR formulated a Mental Health Declaration of Human Rights that has served as its guide for mental health reform.

This now is slightly more worrying as I think there is more to this than meets the eye. If they´re after mind I am inclined to agree with a lot of what they say. If they´re after my money I haven´t got any……I´ll sit back and see what happens next.

———————————————————————————

I received this piece of very good news this morning..

…………..Thanks to a tireless and dedicated campaign by PETA India – and the continued support of compassionate people like you – the Central Zoo Authority of India (CZA) has made the decision to ban zoos and circuses across India from keeping elephants.

Elephants currently held in Indian zoos will be transferred to undeveloped areas controlled by the Indian Forest Service – and will no longer be kept in chains. This is a massive step forward in our efforts to end the captivity of animals in zoos and other forms of “entertainment” around the world. It is a ban that will be heard around the world.

Life in zoos for elephants must be frightening and confusing – and it often ends badly. In their natural homes, elephants form complex, lifelong social bonds and stay with their families for life. They travel vast distances – an activity that is essential for their physical and mental well-being – and thrive by caring for one another, teaching their babies how to survive, warning each other of dangers and sharing food.

Compared to an elephant’s natural habitat, zoos – no matter where they are in the world – cannot and do not provide anything close to what elephants need. Invariably, elephants in zoos spend their entire lives standing or shuffling about in relatively barren enclosures, sometimes without even a blade of grass or a tree, sometimes all alone or paired with one elephant with whom they may not even get along. With their natural herding instincts frustrated, they go insane from the lack of exercise and social contact.

I received an e-mail from my former OCI colleague, Beverly Stewart. Beverly would like the following to be spread far and wide……..

INTERNATIONAL DIVAS…a very special pre-Christmas show.

“International Divas” will be a two-night performance  25 and 26 November in Alfaz’ Casa de Cultura, produced by Pamela Dawson Tasker and John Bennetts with the profits donated to AECC the cancer charity. Wednesday 25 will be for the Modern Divas with seven professional artists from 6 countries singing popular ballads covering swing, pop and country music.

Thursday 26 is for the Classic Divas: entitled  “The Four Sopranos” these divas will perform  arias from the most popular operas.

Tickets are now available at 10 euros each night. Buy direct from Mary Boutique Alfaz or reserve your tickets by phone 96 686 0735 or by e.mail pdawson802t@cv.gva.es

When you book by phone should you get ansafone please leave your name and phone number and we will get back to you to confirm your booking.

25 NOV    MODERN DIVAS: POP,COUNTRY, BALLADS

ARTISTS APPEARING

ELENA LASCO  – RUSSIA

JOANNA SPANJERBERG  – HOLLAND

JOANNA  JAMES-UK

CHIANA-GERMANY

IÑES- SPAIN

JENNY RENN-UK

MARCELLINA- HUNGARY

NOVEMBER 26   POPULAR ARIAS FROM FAV. OPERAS

ARTISTS APPEARING

CECILIA BIANCHI       España y Argentina

MARIA RAIMONDI     Buenos Aires

LUCY GUAJARDO LIRA   Santiago

CATALINA  GONZALEZ   Valencia

——————————————————————————————————

Word of the Day

el camión cah-myon’  (noun)

truck, lorry, van, cart, bus, truckload

EXAMPLES

El camión de la basura siempre viene los lunes. – The garbage truck always comes on Mondays.

¿Cada cuánto pasa el camión? – How often does the bus come by?

IDIOMS

Estar como un camión – To be gorgeous

——————————————————————————————————-

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.   Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he’d like a drink.

He replied in disgust  ”I’d rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!”

Paddy handed his drink back and said  ”Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.

The operator asks “How many people are flying with you ?”

Paddy replies “I don’t know! Its your  plane!”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy “I’m gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!”

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down and shouts “I’M A LIGHTBULB!

I’M A LIGHTBULB!”   Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts “Paddy you’re mad, go home”   So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

“Where the hell are you going?” asks the Foreman.

“I can’t work in the dark!” says Murphy.

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says “I wonder how the girls are getting on”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spreadeagled and says “You know what I want don’t you ?”

“Yeah,” says Paddy. “The whole bed by the looks of it!”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not

servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours’ dog is barking like

mad in the garden. Paddy says “To hell with this!”  and storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks “What did you do ?”

Paddy replies “I’ve put the dog in our garden. Let’s see how they like it!”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.

“Be Jeysus!” he said, “I didn’t even know they had mobile phones!”

———— ——— ——–oOo- ——— ——— ——— –

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.

Mick say “Crikey!  There’s a bloke here who was 152!”

Paddy says “What’s his name ?”

Mick replies “Miles,  from London!”

——————————————————–

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning…

I went downstairs for breakfast  hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,  ‘Happy Birthday!’,  and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,  she barely said good morning,  let alone  ‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought….  Well, that’s marriage for you,  but the kids…  They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast  and didn’t say a word..  So when I left for the office,  I felt pretty low  and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,  my secretary Jane said,  ‘Good Morning Boss,  and by the way  Happy Birthday ! ‘  It felt a little better  that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock ,  when Jane knocked on my door  and said, ‘You know,  It’s such a beautiful day outside,  and it is your Birthday,  what do you say we go out to lunch,  just you and me..’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,  that’s the greatest thing  I’ve heard all day.  Let’s go !’  We went to lunch.  But we didn’t go  where we normally would go.She chose instead a quiet bistro  with a private table.  We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.  On the way back to the office, Jane said, ‘You know,  It’s such a beautiful day…  We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?’

I responded,  ‘I guess not.  What do you have in mind ?’  She said,  ‘Let’s drop by my apartment,  it’s just around the corner.’  After arriving at her apartment,  Jane turned to me and said,

‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,  I’m going to step into the bedroom  for just a moment.  I’ll be right back.’  ‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.  She went into the bedroom and,  after a couple of minutes,  she came out  carrying a huge birthday cake …  Followed  by my wife,  my kids,  and dozens of my friends  and co-workers,  all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there…..  On the couch…  Naked.

Here´s today´s show