When the student is ready,the master appears-Buddhist Proverb
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Today is another wonderfully sunny day with a top temperature around 25 degrees. I started the day with a walk through La Nucia’s main road to the Spanish class in SEU. I had been away for the last three sessions and I was interested to see how much I had slipped behind the others. Fortunately, I was not too demoralised but I did have a few things to think over as I walked back to my car. As a therapeutic gesture, I decided to prepare the dinner with an exotic salad on the menu. I like to mix in the fruit and nuts with the traditional favourites. For the bed I put in spinach.Voila. It was almost time to eat it by the time I realised the blog has yet to be posted.
I’ve been sent the following…….
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes . ;
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th ?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I’m going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WIT NESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have b een alive and practicing law
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Events
1621 – The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, MA, on a return trip to England. You never hear much about the return trip
1792 – U.S. President George Washington cast the first presidential veto. The measure was for apportioning representatives among the states.
1843 – Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British crown colony…Just like that. Simples
1869 – Daniel Bakeman, the last surviving soldier of the U.S. Revolutionary War, died at the age of 109.
1895 – Playwright Oscar Wilde lost his criminal libel case against the Marquess of Queensberry. Wilde had been accused of homosexual practices.
1919 – Eamon de Valera became president of Ireland. This is a name I always remember for some reason
1930 – Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India.
1933 – The first operation to remove a lung was performed at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, MO. Marvellous
1941 – German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans.
1953 – Jomo Kenyatta was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in prison for orchestrating the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya. I studied Kenya and the Mau Mau terrorists during my first degree and learnt a little Swahili
1955 – Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister.
1985 – John McEnroe said “any man can beat any woman at any sport, especially tennis.” He’s right!
1986 – A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists. The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on April 15, 1986.
1998 – The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. Marvellous
1999 – Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988 were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing. This was a horrible crime
2009 – North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council.
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April 5th
1955, Ray Charles married his second wife Della Beatrice Howard Robinson
1962, The Beatles performed at the Cavern Club in Liverpool as part of a special night presented by the Beatles’ fan club. The Beatles wear their black leather outfits for the first half of the performance, for old time’s sake, then change into their new suits for the second half of the show.I was in Liverpool at the time
1968, The first date of a twice-nightly UK tour featuring, Amen Corner, Gene Pitney, Status Quo, Simon Dupree & The Big Sound and Don Partridge kicked off at The Odeon Theatre, Lewisham, London.Great show
1975, Minnie Riperton went to No.1 on the US singles chart with the Stevie Wonder produced song ‘Loving You’ (a No.2 hit in the UK). It was the singers only US chart hit. Riperton died of cancer on 12th July 1979. If you know the song you can hear a bird singing in its cage
. 1981, Canned Heat singer Bob “The Bear” Hite died of a heart attack aged 36. (1970 UK No.2 & US No.26 single ‘Let’s Work Together’). Played at both the 1967 Montery Pop Festival and the 1969 Woodstock Festival.Distinctive voice
1983, Danny Rapp, leader of 50′s group Danny and the Juniors committed suicide in a hotel in Arizona by shooting himself. (1958 US No.1 & UK No.3 single ‘At The Hop’).Utterly tragic
1984, Marvin Gaye’s funeral took place at The Forest Lawn Cemetery, Los Angeles; Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Quincy Jones, Berry Gordy and other Motown singers, writers and producers, attended the service.
1985, At 3:50pm GMT, over 5,000 radio stations worldwide aired the charity single by USA for Africa ‘We Are The World’. The single went on to be a No.1 in the US & UK, and most Western territories. Music can unite people
1995, Jimi Hendrix’s one-time girlfriend Monika Dannerman committed suicide, two days after losing a court battle with another of the guitarist’s ex-lovers. This is bizarre
1998, British drummer Cozy Powell was killed when his car smashed into crash barriers on a motorway in Bristol, England. Powell had worked with Whitesnake, ELP, Black Sabbath, Rainbow and the ELP spin-off Emerson, Lake, & Powell. Plus sessions with Donovan, Roger Daltrey, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Gary Moore and Brian May. Another pop related tragedy
1998, The Spice Girls performed their first ever-live UK concert when they appeared in front of a 9,000 strong audience in Glasgow, Scotland.
2006, Gene Pitney was found dead aged 65 in his bed in a Cardiff hotel. The American singer was on a UK tour and had shown no signs of illness. Pitney helped the Rolling Stones break the American market with his endorsement of the band. Jagger and Richards wrote his hit That Girl Belongs to Yesterday which became the Stones duo’s first composition to reach the American charts. He scored the 1962 US No.4 single ‘Only Love Can Break A Heart’. and 1967 solo UK No.5 & 1989 UK No.1 single with Marc Almond ‘Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart’, plus over 15 other US & UK Top 40 hits. He was one of the all-time greats and a pop giant
2008, Apple’s iTunes overtook supermarket group Wal-Mart to become the largest music retailer in the US. A pivotal moment
2008, Lady GaGa started a four week run at No.1 on the UK album chart with ‘The Fame’ the American singers debut album.Weird but a genius
April 5th
1928, Tony Williams, The Platters, (1959 UK & US No.1 single ‘Smoke Gets In Your Eyes’). Died on 14th August 1992.
1929, Joe Meek, producer. Shot himself dead on 3rd February 1967 after killing his landlady. Produced ‘Telstar’ the 1962 UK and US No.1 single by The Tornadoes. The first British act to have a No.1 in the US. Also produced hits for John Leyton and The Honeycombs.
1935, Peter Grant, manager of Led Zeppelin. Died from a heart attack on 1995 aged 60. Known as being one of the shrewdest and most ruthless managers in rock history, Grant secured 90% of concert gate money and intimidated record store owners who dealt in bootlegs. The former wrestler, also worked as a film extra and bodyguard. During the early 60s Grant worked as a tour manager for Bo Diddley, The Everly Brothers, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Eddie Cochran, Gene Vincent and The Animals.
1939, Ronnie White, The Miracles, (1970 UK & US No.1 single with Smokey Robinson, ‘The Tears Of A Clown’).
1942, Alan Clarke, vocals, The Hollies, (over 25 top 40 hits, 1972 US No.2 single ‘Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress’), 1988 UK No.1 single ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’, first released in 1969.
1950, Agnetha Faltskog, vocals, Abba, (first UK hit 1974 No.1 ‘Waterloo’, followed by eight other UK No.1 singles and 9 UK No.1 albums, 1977 US No.1 single ‘Dancing Queen’).
April 5th
Thanks for your kind comment. Vince