Saturday 21st April 2012 A Day in the Life

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The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success. – Henry Ward Beecher, 1813-1887

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook. – William James, 1842-1910

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly. – Marcus Aurelius, 121-180

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The wind blew like mad during the night and the leaves are back in the pools all around the Costa Blanca. I wonder how many leaves, in total, lay scattered after such a windy night. Does it matter? Our President has said there is no money in the coffers to pay the public service workers. I was told yesterday that Benidorm alone had squandered over 200 million euros and that is just one town. How can anyone owe such an amount of money? Am I the only person who checks what I spend against what I make? Am I the only person who checks the bank account on a regular basis? Of course I’m not. We all do it except for the upper echelons of such businesses as the public purses. The mayor of Benidorm gets paid more than the President of Spain. I know Benidorm is a big Tourist venue but the mayor of the town should never be paid more than the President of the Government. There’s the very first overspend and not a political bias in sight.  A street sweeper just went past the house in his special vehicle. I haven’t seen one of these for months. When will I see one again? The binmen-sorry refuse disposal officers-call every day in Spain. During the heat they have to make that daily call or we’d probably have a rodent problem. Maybe we wouldn’t. Maybe we’d have fatter ferrel cats as they abound in Spain. The serious point is the refuse disposal expenses are equally as important to the tourism effort as the civic lunches and jollies abroad. There’s no point in selling the tourist destination without making a clean town worthy of a visit, is there? Water is another issue worthy of consideration. California prospered because the founding fathers made it a priority. Spain and the UK have drought areas as a recurring problem. Why don’t both countries address these problems now during the recession. Solve the problems with different strategies. Build desalination plants. Use the canals more effectively. My correspondent on our podcasts, Don Woods, made a great comment. The canals exist so why don’t the authorities put pipes into the canals and move water around these countries taking surplus to deficit areas. If it was oil in question  it would already have been done. Come on. Open your minds to this plan. There would be work for the project and we’re already paying unemployment benefits so use that money in a different way. Simples! I wish it were!

The banks continue to grab our money with examples, a little less obvious, abounding. Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.Dear Sir:I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it..I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, — when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public figure, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 to 9

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

And remember:

Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to annoy us and make us mad!

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The Argentine Senate committee have approved the notion to expropriate 51% of the YPF oil company, currently controlled by Spain´s Repsol, also opting to fast track the process. The government are still maintaining that no action will be discussed until at least Friday, but the fruit and vegetable sectors are starting to get concerned about losing their revenue as part of sanctions that may be imposed. Meanwhile, the European Union has backed Spain on the matter and the EU postponed planned meetings Argentina this week and the president of the European Commission, Jose Manuel Barroso, who said that he was ‘‘seriously disappointed” by Buenos Aires’ move.

The police have been busy with cars this week. The Guardia Civil have rescued a woman who they found hidden in the false bottom of a car as it tried to pass the border at Melilla. Officers had stopped the Renault Kangoo van at a routine check point, believing the vehicle to be occupied by the only person they could see, the driver, and proceeded to carry out a fingertip inspection. The driver then panicked and attempted to escape in the car, taking the officer, half hanging out of the vehicle, with him. Other officers saw what was happening and gave chase, whilst the driver tried to evade capture. The vehicle was stopped, but the driver managed to escape on foot. Officers then examined the vehicle and found the woman, of African origin, hidden in the false bottom. The officer who was dragged by the vehicle was treated for minor cuts, bruises and concussion. Police believe they will be able to track down and arrest the driver and bring him to justice. Meanwhile, Officers in Huelva found the corpse of an unidentified body in a car that was spotted at the bottom of a ravine. A passerby had spotted the vehicle just off the A66 on the Seville and Huelva border and called the emergency services. The officers discovered the car in a damaged state with the body inside and are now seeking to identify the victim and the details behind the incident.

“I´m sorry, I was wrong and it will not happen again”, said the King of Spain as he responded to the recent criticism of his elephant hunting trip to Botswana. Standing at the doors of the hospital he was being treated it, with a sorrowful tone he addressed the waiting press, telling them that he was also looking forward to resuming his duties as King. Meanwhile, the campaign to have the King removed as honourary president of the WWF is gaining momentum, with more people coming out in support of the notion to drop the elephant killer from being an ambassador for animal welfare.

The title Video Disk Jockey has become an officially recognised job in Spain, as set out in Royal Decree 556/2012, resulting in the Official State Gazette publishing a vocational training course, lasting 2,000 hours, that will cover mixing, recording and sound reproducing and will allow those who qualify to have a recognised certificate in the newly growing field of the entertainment sector. The Royal Decree also notes that by encouraging the qualification it will mean an improvement in the national GDP contribution and lead to an increase in tourism.

Victor Grifols, the President of the third largest provider of blood in the world, has issued a statement that he feels would solve unemployment and debt, by paying people to donate blood. Spain has been suffering depleting supplies for some time and the blood expert says that the country should “smarten up” as it would then become a way of life for many of the countries unemployed. However, the government are not likely to agree to the move and are still quoting that there is a maximum amount of donations that any individual can give in a year, 4 for men and 3 for women, and that it is a constitutional right that the process is voluntary, despite the fact that the company pays 600 million dollars in grants to Americans each year, money that he feels could be welcomed in Spain.

In sporting news, Spain´s synchronized swimming team came second on Wednesday in a competition in London that will award the top three teams a ticket to the London Olympic Games. Spain currently has 96.200 points, slightly behind Russia with 97.800, but ahead of Japan with 92.200 before the final routine on Friday determines the winners. At the same time, the Spanish female water polo team lost to Russia 11 points to 12 in the second round of the Olympic Qualifiers being held in Trieste in Italy, but Spain will now face Hungary in the final game on Thursday.

SpanishVida: http://www.theleader.info/article/33932/